Shyster Lawyer Tries To Extort Animal Chiropractor. Based On A True Story.

                                                                                      For Immediate Release:

     Buffalo Grove, IL--Rabbi Baron Von Putz's new book is based on a true story with some embellishments, but not many. 

     Killer Klugman is an ugly shyster who is in jail for attempted murder. Not only is he an ugly shyster, he's depraved. He once bragged he paid a midget hooker twenty dollars to go up on him. Oh, and he needs twenty thousand dollars to pay for his equally ugly and depraved shyster lawyer, Gordy Goldstein. And where does Killer think he'll get the money? From his chiropractor, Dr. Willie Kissertits, who is just as depraved but not quite as ugly. 

     Dr. Kissertits is a smart-ass. He has no intention of giving Killer or his lawyer any money. But that doesn't stop Killer from sending extortion letters to Dr. Kissertits' Chicago area chiropractic office. In fact, Dr. Kissertits delights in getting these extortion letters just so he could write back smart-ass replies, which only serves to infuriate Killer and Gordy even more. 

     This book was originally titled "Jew Behind Lox," but got little traction. Not because it wasn't funny. The author tried to promote the book by buying classified ads in print newspapers, but was turned down each time. One New York daily refused to take the ad because they felt the title was anti-Semitic, even though the author and most of the characters are Jewish. 

     The new title "The Crucifixion Of Rumpled Foreskin," doesn't refer to Killer, but to Gordy Goldstein, who you now know as his shyster lawyer. Before he was a lawyer, Gordy was a mohel, or one who circumcises baby Jewish boys. He earned the name Rumpled Foreskin from his disheveled appearance while he performed the Jewish rite. Gordy was the stereotypical shyster lawyer. But he didn't have to be. In fact, as a litigator he wasn't half bad. He once successfully defended a gynecologist who lost his medical license after becoming deaf. Gordy convinced the medical board to reinstate the doctor's license after he proved his client could read lips.. Gordy, who took himself seriously, was even more fun to torment than Killer, hence "The Crucifixion." 

     I hope you enjoy this book. Everyone who read it thinks it would make a great Broadway play. Producers are welcome to make us an offer. 

Contact:  Dr. Willie Kissertits

Website:

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Phone: 708-744-6325

 

 
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